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unsolid state

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unsolid state

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I have this recurring dream where I am in a building that is up high in the air - sometimes on stilts, sometimes just floating - and is missing half its walls.  The floor starts tilting, and everyone else in the building just keeps walking around as if everything's normal, but I start slipping and tripping, closer and closer toward the edge of the floor ...

I haven't had that dream lately, but that's not really all that comforting, because the last few days, I've been feeling the way I do in that dream during my waking hours.

It seems like everything is in flux - nothing feels stable.  I keep not being able to answer the question, "How are you?"  I am having some damned strange reactions to people and situations.  I am having odd thoughts.

There's a lot going on around me, and I'm sure that it's all adding to the stew... but I kind of think this is about making plans.  I don't know if I've *ever* had a plan - I certainly have never had a good one.  The time has come to make one.  Apathy has to die - I've been saying that for a long time, but I don't think I ever really meant it before.

Somehow, I need to reconcile my short term desires with my long term goals.  They look pretty far apart to me right now.

How do I do this?

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