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not much call for berserkers these days

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not much call for berserkers these days

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Yesterday I was angry. Waves of rage coursed through me - not constantly, but repeatedly. I won't say the day wasn't frustrating, because it was, but the response was way out of proportion, and not useful.

Free range fury is alarming. I didn't do anything too stupid - long lunches don't hurt anybody - but filling up with anger for no reason and with no target could go bad places.

As I get older I find that I am more and more responsive to the changing chemical bath inside me, but hormones are a red herring. The pattern in recent years has become that I realize I'm acting irrationally just about the same time as the cause becomes clear, and I can account for it and correct my way back to reasonable, but not this week.

It's time to reassess stressors again, I suppose, but I don't want to do it before work, because then I'll think about it all day and I don't think that will help. There's an easy fix for all of it anyway, but where am I going to find sex? ...in space? ...at this hour?
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