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are you sure THAT's the rant you wanted?

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are you sure THAT's the rant you wanted?

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The things some single guys say... (*Note* if you have an OkC profile, don't click unless you are cool with "stalking" this random dude). I wanted to reply to this OkCupid journal post, but I could not achieve the tone I wanted for this kind of response to a stranger, so I'm just sticking it here instead.

hello? is this thing on?

alrighty then. I've been on this site for more than a month and the only interaction I've had with anyone else wasn't coherent. And they never replied to my response.


If anyone bothers to read this, just send me a flippin msg so I can actually verify that there are other people, real people, who use this site.

I've sent a bunch of emails. No response. And I know I'm not a freak, at least not like some of the other guys on this site or elsewhere.

I'm honest, respectful, insightful, loyal, and much more than any amount of petty descriptors you could choose. I've thus far worked my ass off to get where I am (about three steps behind where I started) and havent quite given up on love or the possibility of success. I really truly believe that to be the person I'm meant to be, I need someone to help motivate, to push me outside of my comfort zone, to lean on, to hold, someone to push myself (thus raising the expectations on myself)...etc. A mutual thing, really.

I'm not lazy, I just lack the right motivation some (most of) the time. My ex was a prolific drinker, and I hated her for it b/c she'd spend saturday night (though by no means just saturday) drinking and the rest of the week bitching about how shitty she felt. I got to listen to her, above just about everyone else at the (party/bar/whatever), and grind my teeth knowing damn well that if she could just walk away from the damn booze for a month or two she'd become so much more than a fat drunk.

Yes, I said it. I loved her to death but after she doubled her weight and whined about the possibility of having diabetes, and then doing nothing to change her lifestyle, things became clear. She could have quit smoking, could have quit drinking , could have gone to the gym (wtf do you buy a membership and not use it? How does that work?).

Sex? I need some physical attraction. I'm not shallow but the female form is just so. Naturally attractive to me. Its hard to say this without coming off as just another tool looking to score. But I havent been with another woman in 7+ years and I live in a college town so I know my options, as far as the overall shape of the woman I may eventually grow old with, are varied and not limited to someone who weighs more than myself.

I want someone who'll make it to the top of the hill with me on a bike. I want someone who'll not only make it to the top of the hill, but will then say 'lets keep going'. Pushing me. It seems so simple.

But you need to meet me first. Yes, you, reading this. It's almost may and I'm just itching to hit the trails at sugar bottom. It's nearly mushroom hunting time, just about another week, and that is really not a whole lot of fun alone. I'm going camping the first weekend of may in Missouri with 40+ of my friends from all over the state. My party buddies. We dance, we rave, we go all fucking night and then into the afternoon. It takes stamina and endurance and hauling around 50lbs of extra weight can really hold you back, ya dig? Unless you've dosed yourself to the gills with speed and other shit, you simply can't keep up with me. I'm almost thirty and I outlast the 'kids' without so much as caffeine.

Should I go on? Do you want to know more? Think I'm interesting?

I am. I guarantee I'm not like any other tool on this site or any others. I am single, individual, so much apart from the rest of the people out there I don't know what to do with myself most of the time. I sit and watch and still can't figure the 'normal' people out. They seem so empty and shallow it makes me want to scream sometimes.

I need someone to save me. Not really, but it's nice to play helpless sometimes. I need someone to save. Not really but its nice to play the hero sometimes.

Do you get it yet? This profile could never sum me up. You'd be reading for days.

Ladies, please. If you got a msg from me reply. at least tell me off so I'm not wondering if you happen to be real. I'd really like to find someone to be with this summer. friends, lovers, whatever, I'll even introduce you to my ex. At this point we're still best friends and *sigh* spend time together simply b/c we were so close. We both need reasons to move on. BUT ITS NOT A REBOUND THING. I'm friends with about half of my ex's, which says a lot considering I was with one woman since late 2000.

BTW. I'm a physical lover. I need to...get some loving soon or I'll fucking burst. I've been single since January and women still look right through me. SHE DOESN'T OWN ME ANYMORE, I SWEAR (the problem with committing yourself to someone is that everyone else knows it. It's like I have a big sign over me that spells it out, and I can't get rid of it. WTF?

If you're not intimidated, scared, or confused, say hi. I don't bite (unless you ask) and I've had my shots. The vet says I'm clean...

Reality check, dude. Sending a stranger a message obligates that stranger to exactly zilch. Sure, it's polite to reply, but it's not required. Anecdata indicates that any one female on this site will get a much higher ratio of attention than any one male of roughly equivalent appearance and profile qualities, and a lot of those communiqués are complete and utter crap. If you want a response to your messages, it's your job to make those messages stand out. Extrapolating from what I see here, my guess is that yours do not, and even if you have tried, the odds are still not in your favor. It's a rough life.

Imagine, for a moment, that you are the woman you are trying to attract (the goal being to evaluate your journal, and this post, from the most objective perspective you can manage). The message you are conveying is, "Hello, I am a time bomb of frustration, bitter anger and lonely horniness. Love me!" I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I would find everything you've written much more appealing if it were leavened with a healthy dose of humor - there are hints of it here and there, but it would be better if it were loud and clear. Also, many sexperts recommend easing sexual frustration through the use of masturbation.
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