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cleaning virtual house

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cleaning virtual house

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So, OkCupid is a fun toy.  I'm prone to excess in text, though.  My profile is choked at this point.  It's no longer functional as a profile, and I can't be objective enough about text I've written to edit it properly.

I could have done something strictly useful with this half hour or so; instead, I've spent it removing almost everything from my OkCupid profile, putting it here for posterity while clearing that space out for a do-over.  I'm also struggling a bit with the rich text format on LJ, though it's better than the last time I tried it out (about a year ago?).


What I'm doing with my life

It's really hard to describe what I'm doing with my life, or to be more accurate, it's really hard to describe it without descending into a soupy haze of buzzwords, so instead I'll just chuck them out randomly: "additive;" "choices;" "experience;" "free will;" "merit;" "bruises;" "lessons."

Oh, yeah, these words are definitely more fun-looking arranged this way than in the heavily multi-syllabic mess my brain was trying to churn out before.

- - - - - - - -

Percentage-wise, I'd say I sleep a lot of my life, though not as much as I should; these days it seems more like an impediment to my freedom than the sybaritic pleasure I once found it to be - a love affair gone tragically wrong.

- - - - - - - -

I'm working at a job I don't love. My last job didn't really deserve me, and I knew it was holding me back from finding a true vocation. I didn't know why I stayed - I thought it was my dislike of playing the field, but the truth is that even though I knew it could never satisfy me, I became emotionally attached. I didn't even realize it until it was over. Since then, it's going to be strictly jobs-with(out)-benefits for me until I find the one true position.

(Quick aside: I find the above paragraph hilarious.)

I'm going to have to obtain some pieces of paper in order to be allowed to do something I can love (as opposed to doing something just to pay the bills), so I'm working up to working on my applications for grad school. So far I am moving sloooooooowly.

- - - - - - - -

On many days, I think the most important thing I accomplish is laughing.

One of the best things that I know about life is that it's FUNNY. It doesn't matter whether my existence is running fast or slow, empty or full, tragic or groovetastic - as long as I'm still laughing, I know that even if I'm not okay right this minute, I will be.

* Ah, who am I kidding? These guys aren't the man. Look how they keep tweaking this site, trying to pack in more and more shininess (it's on its fifth or sixth update just since I set up this profile). Caress those smooth algorithms and listen to them purr. Be the neighbors who they may, clearly the OkC overlords are hardcore geeks, which means they are my people.

That being said, though, I'm leaving that initial essay. It's the first thing I ever put on here, and it's staying until I no longer find it funny. That day is not today.

updated 06/04/07

I'm really good at

spelling - woohoo! If I get to caring about you, I might correct your spelling* - unless, of course, you out-spelling-maven me, in which case PLEASE correct mine! :)

I'm also great at going off on a tangent of a tangent of a tangent. A lot of times I can trace the conversation branches back to the trunk - which is slightly impressive, if it works.

I'm something of a singer, too - though that one always depends a lot upon the taste of the listener. If you meet me, you'll have a chance to judge for yourself - trust me.

For the sake of antonymity, I'm really BAD at gardening. Please spare a drop of pity for the poor plants that come under the paltry protection of my black thumb.

Also, my ability to write very long and detailed emails (much in the style of this profile) is tempered by my almost complete inability to write short ones. Pithy I am; brief I am not.

Procrastinating. Good? I'm the best.

* I mean it, it's because I care. The idea that there is a direct correlation between spelling and intelligence is prevalent on the net. I say this is a fallacy, because (as with IQ testing) although it's clearly indicative of something, there are too many potential factors involved to pinpoint precisely what that is in any one case without studying the person. You can guess about strangers, but you can't know.

Even in text-based media, the influence of appearance over content remains constant. Since my own intelligence DOES happen to manifest, in part, as spelling ability, I aim to protect "me and mine" from those fools who think that failures of letter order in an otherwise intelligent individual reflect upon the quality of thought, or as weaknesses during discussion or debate.

By contrast, I think there IS a real and valid issue of aesthetics, in terms of personal expression. Writing is a tool, but it can also be a craft, or an art. It all depends on what you want to make of it.

updated 11/03/06

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me

probably me doing something ridiculously exuberant - I have a tendency to give really odd first impressions, of which I later have no recollection.

I'm not shy, and I have little if any shame, so I do whatever the hell I feel like doing - at any time, I might start singing, or do the one tap move I remember, or maybe just fling my arms up in the air and make a huge wide happy-face-pose of a sort that makes my picture up above seem merely a mellow grin.

I don't care who sees me do this stuff. Embarrassment is not a deterrent, as the opinions of strangers mean nothing to me (as long as they aren't trying to, yanno, kill me or something). Everyone's a stranger until I've met them, so any of these things might be the first thing a person ever sees me doing.

Fact is, though, these things are NOTHING compared to the first impressions I give during conversations. Of course, sometimes that backfires; occasionally the random things I do or say are showstoppers, and not in a good way. If that's the case when you meet me, though, and you let it make our first meeting be our last, I feel confident in saying that it's your loss.

updated 5/29/06

My favorite books, movies, music, and food


Books: Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series; Patricia McKillip's Hed series, Stephen Donaldson's Gap series; The Ship Who Sang, by Anne McCaffrey; Dave Duncan's King's Blade books; Anne Bishop's Dark Jewels trilogy; anything by Robin McKinley, Stephen King or Robert Heinlein; retellings of fairy tales; anything that Esther Friesner wrote or edited, which leads into my fondness for those themed anthologies that were so hot in the 80s and 90s (there's a book of short stories out there based on Leslie Fish's filksong, "Carmen Miranda's Ghost Is Haunting Space Station Three" - how hilarious is that? You have to love that. You have no choice).

Movies (I wasn't going to alphabetize these, but then I did anyway): Airplane, Amadeus, Clash of the Titans, The Craft, Dangerous Liasons, Payback, The Princess Bride, Return of the Killer Tomatoes, Sleepy Hollow, Spaceballs!, Willow, The Witches of Eastwick

Music: I have broadly eclectic tastes. I dislike both rap and country, with some rare exceptions to each; I'm fond of folk music. Swing makes me want to be a crooner - and to know how to swing dance! I wish I liked classical more than I do; a lot of the reason I don't like much classical outside Mozart and Tchaikovsky is that I have a hard time connecting to instrumental music - I need voices. I love the Indigo Girls, Jonathan Coulton, Billy Joel, the Eagles, the White Stripes... but more than just picking some groups, there is MUSIC. Just listening to the radio, there are the hundreds of individual songs that have been made over the years that have something to them; the ones that can seize me and freeze me and make me listen and feel; the ones that take hold and make me sing and bounce and exude happies.

and just to offset the fact that this site keeps telling me I am less geeky than people...

Webcomics: Alien Loves Predator (http://alienlovespredator.com); dinosaur comics (http://www.qwantz.com/); Filthy Lies (http://www.filthylies.net/); FriendlyHostility (http://friendlyhostility.com/); Girly (http://go-girly.com/); Queen of Wands - commentary version (http://www.queenofwands.net/); Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal (http://smbc-comics.com/); Scary-Go-Round (http://www.scarygoround.com/) Sinfest (http://www.sinfest.net/); Sluggy Freelance (http://sluggy.com/); Something Positive (http://somethingpositive.net)

updated 06/04/07

The six things I could never do without

Aside from meeting my body's basic requirements for life, I only have one immutable need: my mind.

Privation I could take and continue. Physical damage I could handle and go on. People I could lose and keep right on living.

I may face any of these at any time in my life. If and when I do, it will hurt - but as long as I have my sanity and the power of reason, there's nothing else that can't be survived.

I'm also partial to banana bread, right out of the oven.

I spend a lot of time thinking about

almost everything. I am an analyzer of things, from the sublime to the stupid.

I think about the way relationships work; I think about ways to make my job more efficient. When I'm cleaning house, I'm not just removing the dirt from my home, I'm also pondering the meaning of cleaning in a world that is governed, at least in part, by entropy; when I'm doing a jigsaw, I'm not just enjoying that smooth calm of hunting for matches in color and shape, I'm also considering that in a way, I'm handling the physical manifestation of overused metaphor.

I don't think every second of every day... but even now, as I write about the things I think about, I'm not just writing, I'm thinking about the act of writing - I'm watching myself pay close attention to punctuation and spelling, and thinking how strange it is that we focus so much energy on these tiny marks, on how little chance written language has of truly communicating anything, and of how, considering how far removed each human mind is from the next, it is miraculous that written language is a functional tool for communication at all.

I am all about meta thought.

I am flexible on a lot of things, but this isn't something I can change, so it's really a case of "love me, love my thought processes."

If this is too much thought for you, or for that matter too much text, you'd best move on, as there are oceans more within me.

As an aside: I DON'T think about politics as much as I feel I should. It's something I mean to do, but often when such conversations arise, my brain just glosses past it. I do have considered opinions on a lot of individual political issues, but the overarching sense of it all tends to slip away from me. I deal better with intently focusing on a small issue than on a huge multifaceted mess.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit here

I don't really have much in the way of private, actually - I'm more likely to come over suddenly bashful but still be willing to spill - so instead I'm going to go with random personal bits:

---Normally I don't care what any stranger thinks of me, but I've discovered that I find airplane takeoffs so beautifully moving that I cry over them, and then I try to hide it from the flight attendants. I think the last one saw.

---I act more like a little girl now than I did when I was an actual little girl - things like clapping and bouncing. It feels natural now in a way it would definitely not have been back then.

---I've argued about whether simile is a subset of metaphor more than once, and I think at least twice it was with the same person.

---I wonder if I should be ashamed that I don't seem to have any shame.

---There's something in an essay above that I crafted to look like I meant it in a figurative sense, but it's actually the literal truth. The fact that I did this fills me with fiendish glee.

---In the right mood, I will discuss original series Trek using episode titles.

---I wish I was more empathetic, but I also don't know if I could stand to be.

---I think I might have to reconsider my stance on the concept of best friends.

updated 06/04/07

You should message me if

---you largely eschew the use of netspeak.

---you have some sense of the value of these profiles (both those things for which they are perfect and those for which they are useless), or have either written more than two sentences in the doggone thing or are fairly forthcoming in chat.

---you know which word(s) in this profile I made up. *grin*

---you think you can best me in a battle of wits (the one who reduces the other to helpless laughter wins!).

updated 06/04/07

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