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Polymorphism

Another dream last night - no really disturbing images but it…

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Another dream last night - no really disturbing images but it bothered me anyway. I think part of the reason I am finding my dreams so strange lately is that they feel like they usually do, but I am left without a cogent narrative. Usually my brain is pretty good at providing a plot, however dumb, and even as inadequate as those plots were for explaining the way I felt after waking from the dream, at least they were something. I could use it for myself, could write it out and nail it into a less temporary part of my memory. I haven't been able to do that for what feels like forever.

The things I do remember are that I was having a gift exchange with two girls from high school, one who I knew somewhat from theatre, though we weren't close, and one who I disliked because she was popular and a bitch about it*. Fortunately for my waking grumpiness about giving her dream gifts, it was something the girl I knew probably wouldn't have liked, though I forget what geeky thing it was, a calendar or something. The other one got a music box with very elaborate girly flowers and stuff that played "Cylon Lullaby," which I am pretty sure is just a dreamspace creation of mine. However, I actually still think that is appropriate on waking, considering what the Cylons are in the new BSG.

There was also something about me giving awards to some other people, but it's gone, just gone. It didn't do a fade into nonsense, it made no sense even upon waking and I couldn't hold it. *sigh*


* I realize that's the norm, but just because you have power doesn't mean you should abuse it, and I don't respect people who do. She had no real power to hurt me, as the popular kids in my school never did anything that mattered - I have heard some horror stories about bullying, but we lived in a nice place where I guess that stuff didn't occur to people... or else I am lucky or there is something about me that protected me, as there are a lot of ways I have never been abused that have been the tragic usual in others' lives. In any case, I was largely indifferent to "kids are cruel" hurt feelings or peer pressure, but after the role she played, I definitely do not find her likeable.

I also feel a stronger antipathy to her because she briefly dated my (extremely hot) cousin after high school and it fired my feelings toward her, as I did not want her anywhere near my family. In retrospect I think it is one of the many reasons that I am not at all close to my cousin, as it permanently damaged my regard for him that he would date her. Ugh. If I met her in the flesh again, I'd give her a chance to present as a decent person, but meanwhile, based on what she represents in my brain, I resent that I gave her a present in my sleep.
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