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sex partners don't know it's not bacon!

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sex partners don't know it's not bacon!

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If only the date on this post were one day later, I would know exactly what to think of Bacon Lube. It says March 31 plain as day, though. Not only that, but it's right there at the bottom of the product list on the actual website.

They also have lip balm. Which comes in 12 packs.

12 packs. Of bacon flavored lip balm. 12. Packs.

Once my mind came back from the question of what one does with 12 tubes of bacon-flavored lip balm, it immediately went to the MST3K episode for Bloodlust, which contains the, hm, let's just call it a compliment, "Your lips are like crisp, delicious bacon" (I would have just linked to a video but it's been taken down). Now I too can live that glamorous lifestyle! Although to be fair, maybe people who wear Dr. Pepper lip gloss shouldn't throw stones... On the other hand, I don't actually smear my body with Dr. Pepper syrup, either. Hm, am I going too far astray from my original premise here? I think I am.

In any case, bacon! It's a food, it's a meme, it's well on the way to becoming a freaking lifestyle, and now possibly coming soon to a bedside table near you. Is there nothing bacon can't do? Aside from lowering your cholesterol, of course.
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